In the Midwest where I grew up, I used to swim a lot in rivers. I learned at an early age that there were powerful currents underneath the surface that I could get caught in and potentially drown. Merging streams and rivers that would pull in all opposite directions created these currents. I knew that they were dangerous and I had to be careful not to get pulled down by them.

The same thing can happen anytime people come together. Wherever there is an intersection of relationships, there is the potential for under-the-surface currents to exist. Hidden agendas, unspoken expectations, negative assumptions and unhealthy comparisons that exist beneath that surface can cause otherwise good relationships to get complicated and be pulled down to their destruction. Now, don’t get me wrong -comparing ourselves to others is not entirely a bad thing. If someone is a strong, positive example that you can pattern your life after, then their example can be of great benefit to you. It’s when we compare our lives with others in a negative way that can cause resentment, envy and jealousy.

Character inconsistencies can also complicate relationships. When you are with someone who becomes a different person when they are around other people, or they act one way at church and another way outside of church, there will be constant tension. Those around them never know what to expect from them, wondering, “Am I dealing with Dr. Jeckyl or Mr. Hyde?”
If we want to uncomplicate our relationships and avoid being pulled down by dangerous undercurrents, there are some things we must do.

To enjoy fulfilling, healthy relationships, make a commitment to:

- Treat people like you want to be treated.
- Expect nothing in the relationship that has not been talked about and agreed upon.
- Resolve issues quickly and move on.
- Look for the good and believe the best about people.
- Refuse to harbor any offense or bitterness in your heart against another person.